Well, it's been awhile since I've blogged, but we did make it through our backpacking trip. Someday I'll write more about it, but for now, I just am happy to be back to blogging.The trip was good, but it did kind of mess up my eating schedule/recording my food and once again made me lazy. In addition, once we were out of the woods, we stopped to eat and I ordered a pop.... So, I also broke my year long streak of being soda free.
Probably the worst thing is I haven't recorded a full days meals since we left for our hike. As a result, I haven't lost much weight. This last week though, I tried to record my food a little more regularly and get back into my good habits. I'm just doing what I can right now, but it did help. I had only lost three pounds in the weeks leading up to last week. One week back on the wagon (sort-of) and I lost five pounds. So, I know how important recording my food is, yet I still don't want to do it!
In many ways, I am disappointed with myself for not recording my food after only 4 days without internet access. I am also disappointed with myself for drinking pop here and there since our trip. It doesn't taste that good and it makes me feel funny! Still, now I seem to be missing my willpower to stay away from it. I haven't resorted to ordering it, but I do steal sips from my hubby or kids when they have it.
Another sad thing is I lost a lot of my support people around the same time I quit logging in and recording my food; not literally, but in the sense that they no longer log onto our food recording system. That's tricky because if you don't feel like anyone is watching it's very hard to hold yourself accountable. Realistically, I know that I'm doing this for me and I'm my best motivation, but it does something to my brain not to have people "thumbs-up" my status when I log my food or enter my weight loss. I wish it didn't matter, but it does. I've even logged in with my husband's account and wrote myself an encouraging note. I need to find another way to make it appealing for me to login and record my food. That seems to be the best way for me to lose weight and so I have to find something that motivates me to keep doing it. I guess that's why I'm back on here today.
I know my blog isn't read by everyone or even very many people, but I need to be accountable to more people. I have to make time to blog and share where I'm at in this process. I have a long way to go and I can't let myself get in the way of my success. I need to find my fire, my passion, my reason for being happy! I hate that I let things wear me down, make me feel depressed, and keep me from reaching my goals. Why do I always feel like quitting when things don't go the way I expect them to or when I fail?
Today, I am 2.2 lbs away from losing 100 total pounds! I'm so close to that major milestone, but I have a long way to go. My goal for this week will be to hold myself accountable and to take it one day at a time. I'll try not to give up when/if I fail...that will be the hard part.
