The Unseen Risks of Being Obese

As I was laying in bed this morning, I remembered my CPAP machine lying on the floor next to me.... I haven't used the machine in months.  I really should go through another sleep study and see if I still have sleep apnea.  

In April of 2015, my doctor had me tested for sleep apnea and I thought it was ridiculous.  I felt fine, I slept fine, and a barely snored (my husband would agree).  Although, shortly after the sleep study, I was told I had sleep apnea and would need a CPAP machine to help me sleep at night.  I was certain they were wrong.  After some research to learn about CPAP and sleep apnea, then finally getting a machine in August, I still couldn't believe it was true.  Still, at the risk of causing my life to be any shorter, I used the CPAP daily and slowly worked up to keeping it on through the night.  It was embarrassing to use and I usually buried my head under the covers so that my husband wouldn't see me with it on.    

Thinking back, I remember laying on my side as I always did to sleep and having so much fat pushed up around my throat area that I couldn't breath as well as I had thought.  It wasn't until I actually had the CPAP machine that I realized this was an issue, but it didn't take long for me to see how much I loved having a clear airway.  It's amazing what you live with and don't realize it's a problem until someone brings it to your attention.  I wonder how many people are cutting years off of their life because they stop breathing through the night due to their airway closing.  

Since losing the first 50 pounds, I quit using my CPAP machine.  I guess I didn't feel like I needed it anymore.  The image below makes me think I should probably be wearing it every night. 

https://www.reddit.com

This picture (real or not), is one of the things that got me started on a healthier path.  I saw it somewhere and thought, I don't weigh 250 lbs, I weigh over 300....can you imagine what the scan would look like then?  I find it sad and disgusting to see the stomach so bloated and the poor bones trying to support such a large frame.  It was one of those things that made me realize, whether I saw myself as obese or not, my body was fully aware and suffering the consequences.

It seems like I was given 20 years to figure out that I was overweight and I couldn't see it.  I still viewed myself as skinny.  Now as I lose weight and things become so much easier, I still see myself as the same 'skinny' person I've always been, but I realize how distorted my reality was and worry that just because I've lost some weight I'll be satisfied with myself enough to stop the healthy trends regardless of how much more weight I need to lose to actually be healthy.  Writing blogs like this one that remind me of the actual health concerns with being overweight is helpful and I hope it will continue to keep me on the track to success.  It's easy to get caught up in the success and let it all go.  I need to keep pushing forward and see the potential ahead.