It isn't just me!

Being obese isn't just a secret to me; at least it doesn't seem like it.  There have been so many times when I've been with someone and they make fun of someone else for being overweight.  It always shocks me because although I think of myself as skinny, hearing the word fat reminds me that I have some extra cushion.  It's like these people don't see that I'm overweight.  I mean how do you make fun of someone for something that the person next to you is clearly suffering from?  It just seems weird to me.  It makes me wonder if these people actually see me as obese or if it's a secret to them as well.  Some of the things they have said are pretty harsh and it's like they expect me to join in on their jokes.

In addition to being told fat jokes or listening to people make fun of others for being overweight, people often invite me to do things that I am too large to do.  These are things with weight requirements (like skydiving).  How do you explain to someone who knows there is a weight requirement for the event yet doesn't understand that you are 90 plus pounds over that weight limit.  It's not like I can drop the weight in two weeks to join you on your adventure.  Again, more proof that other people don't see me as obese either.  Or at least that's what it seems like.  

People also tend to think I can borrow their jacket or other clothes!  HELLO!  I'm clearly not going to fit into your size 12 jacket.  I know that much, but do they?  One of the most common times I realize I'm obese is when I go clothes shopping.  I don't know why, but it's especially obvious when I try to buy boots.  I think shoes should fit because it's based on your shoe size.  The expectation that they should fit is exactly what makes it obvious.  When I grab a pair of beautiful boots off the shelf and try them on only to realize the zipper doesn't go past the ankle it quickly becomes obvious that I'm not skinny.  This can be avoided by picking ankle boots, but in the winter months those knee boots are just so tempting.  

To be honest, I didn't really try to buy boots until about 15 months ago.  My hubby and I were planning a trip to Vegas and I wanted to look good yet feel comfortable walking the strip (since the last time we went my feet hurt so bad I couldn't walk).  Boots seemed like the logical choice.  However, I quickly learned that you needed smaller calfs than the ones I was sporting.  So, to get around this issue, I began shopping on line for wide-calf boots.  They aren't that hard to find, but the styles are limited.  Still, it solved the problem of finding boots that would fit my beefy calfs.  

Still, not being able to buy boots in any store I wanted may have been the edge I needed to take a closer look at my actual size.  It was two months later that I contacted my doctor and said I wanted to do something about my weight.  I don't really know what pushed me over that edge, but maybe boots played a part in it.