Where did all this weight come from?

My Freshman Prom 110 lbs

I watch My 600 Pound Life.  I know that people who are really overweight generally have a problem from their past that causes their weight gain, but I don't.  To be honest, I've always blamed it on having four babies and bad genes.  That might be part of it, but more realistically it has something to do with poor eating habits.

I had an amazing childhood.  I wouldn't trade it for anything.  We had parents who loved us, grandparents who adored us, and siblings who have become our best friends.  We didn't have very much money growing up and therefore, we didn't have a lot of food.  I remember going to other people's houses and thinking they had to be rich because they had so much food.

I was a skinny child.  In high school I was probably average; although, I believed I was fat...don't all teenagers?  I didn't overeat, but then again, we didn't have a lot of food to overeat with.  I played sports and walked most places.  A lot of the time we were outside playing.

About half way through my senior year of high school, I got pregnant.  It was hard to tell my parents, I loved them so much and I didn't want to be a disappointment.  Still, I didn't wait.  I knew I couldn't sleep at night if they didn't know.  So, I told them right away and they handled it like the amazing parents they were (are).  They even talked with my boyfriend (now husband) and were wonderful with him as well.  We didn't quite have the same reaction from his family and that made it hard.  It wasn't planned, we were dumb kids, but we loved each other very much.

Senior Pictures 125 lbs

After three months of pregnancy, I had a miscarriage and it was very hard on my boyfriend and me.  It was one of the few times I've ever seen my husband cry (sorry babe for sharing that).  We both really cared about the baby and each other and he was there for me through it all (and so was my family).  After the miscarriage, I became depressed and put on about 50 pounds.  Graduating from high school at nearly 180.

In the fall following our graduation, we became pregnant again, got married 5 months later, and had a beautiful baby girl in the summer.  She was perfect and I had always wanted a baby.  I knew how much family meant to providing happiness and I wanted a large family of my own.

Almost three years later (210 lbs) I gave birth to my second daughter.  After moving to the big city, about 15 months later, I gave birth to a baby boy.  After losing some baby weight I was at about 220.  I stayed there for a long time.  For my final pregnancy, I boomed up to 264 before my largest baby was born (another boy).  Within 5 years, I had given birth to 4 children.  Not to mention, had been put on medication for Postpartum Depression twice (probably should have been three times) and been to therapy a few times.  Still, through all of that, I managed to hold my weight at about 220 for several years.

One year though, I gained 20 lbs in one month.  It scared me so I went to see my doctor.  He said, "You're a healthy overweight person."  He also asked me if I breastfed all of my children (while lifting my sagging boobs).  Let's just say that visit to the doctor was not very productive.  Instead, it reassured me that my weight was fine, but my boobs now that's where the problem was.

So, consequently, I met with a breast reduction specialist to see about that procedure.  I'm glad I didn't follow through on that one.  I wish I was never so insecure about my body to let a doctor get in my head.  Imagine the power these people have to make changes in our lives.  Instead of saying I'm healthy, why didn't he ask me to record a food log and come back in for a follow up consultation in a couple months?  Why did it end with me thinking my real issue was my breasts?  Instead, it took nearly 10 years and 66 pounds for me to seek help with my weight again.